Return to their account

Dealing With Grieving
March 4, 2013 09:45:13 AM
As many of you may know, there are five stages to the grieving process:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

These are all pretty straight forward but I'll explain the process of each stage anyway. Let's start with Denial.

Denial - in this stage, you most likely just found out something horrible; i.e. the terminal illness or death of a loved one or yourself. Your brain does it's best to protect you from the shock by sending you into denial. Your brain will deny the words and shelter you from the first wave of pain. It's not uncommon at this stage to continue with your daily routines as if nothing happened. It's a desperate attempt to do something that makes you feel normal and in control. This stage typically doesn't last too long.

Anger - at this point, the denial has worn off and the second wave of pain begins. It's normal to become angry. It can be directed at inanimate objects, other people, even the person who has passed. A common feeling of abandonment usually accompanies this stage.

Bargaining - this happens when the feelings of helplessness sets in. It is a way to try and regain control and delay the inevitable. It's normal to play the "if only" game. "If only I had done something different." "If only I had been there in time." And for those who are religious or believe in a higher power, at some point, they try to make a deal with whatever God or higher power they lean on.

Depression - this stage has many faces and is dealt with in many different ways by different people. Some people are more private and seclude themselves. Others will become worried that through their grief they've neglected the people that depend on them. Others still will deal with the depression by worrying about the cost of a funeral.

Acceptance - it's a process that can be very like depression. With acceptance, some people simply withdraw, trying to maintain some dignity and grace. Others experience a feeling of peace and are able to start looking through old photos of their recently lost loved ones.

On the whole, grieving is a very unique experience to each person and no one can really help you get through it less painfully, but others can be there for you if you need them. Remember, not everyone grieves the same way and the stages of grief don't fall in any particular order. You may not even experience all the stages and that's ok. That doesn't make you different or weird and it doesn't mean you hurt any less than anyone else. Don't be afraid to lean on others and ask for help if you need it.

I hope this helps someone who is grieving or helps them to understand someone they know who is going through this process.

Back to entries